big pregnant people
I was walking into work today and saw a humongous (if that is even a word) woman waddling out of the medical office building with her husband. It was wrong how big she was. It brought out of my heart all sorts of fears of getting fat, I mean really fat. I am so tired of fighting against myself in this area. For as long as I can remember, I have fought my weight. So being pregnant is poking at all sorts of body disturbance sore spots. I know I am suppose to grow and expand in proportional ways, but I always have this horrible, lingering fear nagging at my heels that I am getting too big and it has nothing to do with baby Coco growing. I know this: I do not want to become that humongous woman I saw in the parking lot.
posted by Shanel @ 9:16 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
dear girl, I COMPLETELY understand your fears as they are my own, exactly. I have walked the road you are on and gained 50 plus pounds in the process...it wasn't pretty. Plus side, I was able to lose it afterwards (with the exception of eight to nine pounds that I am sick of struggling with right now!). And, I was able to learn that keeping myself under much stricter control the next time I am pregnant will be well worth it, for all kinds of reasons, not least of which is the thought of becoming some kind of walking monolith!! anyway, I don't really have words of wisdom but want you to know you are not alone in your thoughts/feelings about this. please give me your skype name so we can talk on the phone sometime...
Yes, humongous is a word. Not sure about the spelling, though.
I can understand your fears, though I'm far from pregnancy or those particular body image issues. But even dealing with the 10 or so pounds that have come and gone and come and gone and come and (sort of) gone since college, and the marks they've left behind, have left an impact. One I struggle with often. Very often.
No one is ever thin enough or curvy enough or healthy-looking enough, is she? If I feel that my weight is under control (or, to be precise, my pooch is flattening out), then I start to worry about my skin or the shape of my chin or the color of my hair. Of course, one look at a thinner girl makes me feel fat again. True and scary confessions.
Lord, help us!
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