The Invasion

Last night, around 3;45am, our attic was invaded. No joke! It sounded like an army in formation marching in, but instead of being human they were large rodents with teeth larger than most and nails that could cut through steel. Yeap, the army of squirrels invaded. I swear they are telling their friends about our amazing crawl space and how it is the pent house suite for the squirrel community. It sounded like there were more than five squirrels up there and it seemed like they had rallied together outside the house in the tree and formed a plan of when to invade. You could hear them clawing and scratching at stuff, running here to there, galloping in glee over the rooftop telling more of their friends to come and enjoy the loot of the Martens' territory.

My little family and I started to stir very shortly after the invasion. I was the first to arise and take action. Groggy-me made my way to the walk-in closet off of our bedroom where the previous attacks have originated and did the never-fail technique of "BANG! BANG! BANG!" on the gabled ceiling. Obviously communicating to the army of squirrels, "We mean business!"

They all stopped in silence and stunned that they had been discovered. I climb back into my warm bed and close my eyes and the little boogers are at it again. Eventually Ivan gets up and does his even more manly "BANG! BANG! BANG!" which wakes lil' Audrey Anne. I get up to nurse her while Ivan puts on clothes and begins his tactic planning for retaliation.

Before too long, Ivan is bounding up the stairs in his Ivan way with the pellet gun in hand. We conveniently have placed a ladder to get to the crawl space after multiple previous invasions. He climbs of the rickety old ladder and does his search. Of course, by this time all the generals of the squirrel army are hiding in their respective corners of the crawl space and have their scouts looking out. No shots go off.

Ivan returns to the landing on our humble second floor and gets more frustrated because the moment he closes the "hatch" to the crawl space the squirrel "cannons and machine guns" are at it again. At this point, I do the wise thing of putting the burrito bundled Audrey back to sleep in her crib and laying my head down. But before I close my eyes, I shove two handy-dandy ear plugs into my ears and realize I have won the war with the squirrels.

I slept till 8am. Miracles.

[I guess Ivan eventually came back to bed after probably traipsing the yard, the roof and the upstair veranda with his pellet gun in hand--his normal war path. And Ivan told me this morning that Audrey woke up once and he had to get up and put her "plug" back in her sweet, but fussy mouth which is my job usually.]

So, take note of the photo above. There is a list posted on our refrigerator of fix it up projects around the house (which seem to be never ending). In very large letters are "KILL SQUIRRELS!"

Wish us luck.