The Ladies

On Thursday's at the Kelloogg, all my favorite patients come for their chemotherapy treatments. Really, it's a group of wonderful ladies whom I have becoming affectionately attached to. Breast cancer treatment consists of 4 cycles of a regimen called "AC" (Adriamycin and Cytoxan) and most often they are every 2-3 weeks apart. And then after that they do 12 weeks of Taxol therapy, which goes by surprisingly fast. And those with HER 2+ receptors on their tumors come back for an additional year to get a fantastic drug called Herceptin.

Okay, I know, enough with the medical jargon. The point is this: I see these remarkable women often for at least 6 months and all the way up to a year and a half. And as most of you know, I am a "relational woman". Can't help it. That's who I am.

I become friends with many of these women. They come to trust me over time and the parting is bittersweet when they come to the end of their journey of chemotherapy.

Last Thursday, I had a remarkable day with the ladies. They all came in one after the other; all my favorites. One is my age, the other is a successful and ambitious attorney, another a down-to-earth teacher at one of the local middle schools and the other, I think, is a PE teacher as well. Three of them are knitters and the young woman who is my age comes with her mom who is an outstanding knitter. So I bring my knitting with me every Thursday, hoping it won't be busy, so I can sit and knit with the ladies.

I gathered them all as the morning went on in one of the larger treatment rooms with lots of chairs and recliners. There was a large gathering of us in the treatment room knitting away. Other nurses, patients and my boss walked by and I could see it in all their eyes: envy to be a knitter. :) We were talking away, as women love to do, but we were talking about what it was like having breast cancer, going through chemotherapy treatment, and what life was like after chemo, being a "cancer survivor". It was a little support group in ways, but it was happening so naturally and symbiotically. I, obviously, not having had breast cancer took an outsider seat but was still included in the processing.

I found myself thoroughly enjoying the conversation and by the end of the time, I realized this: I really like my job. I really love being a nurse. I am really good at what I do.

I was so honored to have some of them open up so deeply and in those moments I realized how much they trust me, look to me for reassurance, hope and comfort. Often, women will really try the darndest to hold it together and keep a lid on all the emotions they are experiencing, especially sadness and intense fear. But I tell them, "This is the one place where you have the freedom to let it all out; we can take it and we want you to be open and honest about how you are really doing." Thus I find many women crying with me, asking hard questions that don't really have answers, expressing anger and more anger, and just looking for someone to tell them everything is going to be okay.

What a privledge to have this role in the kingdom. For so long, I have seen myself as having different roles of ministry in my church: leading teams, fascilitating Bible studies, mentoring women, co-leading Dive (the young adults ministry). But I am realizing more and more that those roles are periperal and very minor compared with the work I do in the Kellogg Cancer Care Center as an oncology nurse. Being a nurse is one of the main roles that God has called me to in his kingdom (in addition to being a wife and a mother). So I rejoice in God in how he wired me and gifted me to do this thing: bringing comfort, reassurance and dignity to the dying.

WELL DONE, GOD!!